some things you want now, suddenly:
J1mmy
J1mmy is a world famous astronaut, lawyer, petroleum engineer, doctor, and renowned garbageman who gave it all up to play an MMORPG known as Old School Runescape. Since then, he has won 4 trophies from the developers of that game (3 of which have been physically received), and has been completing every quest in the game for about five years. For comparison, it normally takes the average player a whopping eighteen years to accomplish this, so he's actually doing pretty good.
If I forget to change this before the store goes live, it's probably on purpose because none of this matters.
Buy a shirt.